The Power of Our Voices

Takeaways from Talking with Kamau Bell

Thu, 31 May 2018 13:49:21 PDT

Kamau Bell said a few interesting things at his talk. 1) When dealing with family members or friends you love who share drastically opposing ideas on topics, don’t expect to find commonality and understanding after one conversation. It takes more than one discussion to understand where a person stands on specific matters. Yet, just like success, differences can be bridged bit by bit. 2) On the other hand, Bell went on to say that missing Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas can be another effective way to get the people you care about to be aware of where you stand. Lines can be drawn so everyone is treated respectfully. Most importantly, you can be around your loved ones regardless of opposing beliefs. At first, one might think not showing up to a family dinner is a drastic move, but Bell’s willingness to speak about his experiences was a way to help paint a real example. For instances, Kamau Bell went on to say that by removing himself from these environments it allowed for relatives and friends to initiate the first step to change relationship dynamics. This is crucial because it is often better for us to take a step back and allow for people to come to terms with the impact that their beliefs and actions may have on others, but especially loved ones. If individuals feel driven to change or mend any relationships then that can occur if someone has shown a willingness to change.

Simply by "extending an olive branch" it creates an opportunity that allows for people from different walks of life, with different perspectives, to sit down and have a conversation. Consensus should not be the goal. A middle ground can be met by both people if they want one another to be part of each other's life.

My challenge for you doesn’t have to be as momentous as skipping a family holiday dinner, but it can entail rethinking who you want to be around. The argument here is not about distancing oneself from individuals with different perspectives; it affirms that sometimes it is okay to take a break from friends and family who create a toxic environment for you. Rather, maybe it's best to take some time apart. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder---and it forces people to reevaluate their interactions. Ultimately, this provides an opportunity for there to be more discussion to occur, which is never a bad idea.

Less Brow-Furrowing, More Joke-Cracking

Thu, 31 May 2018 13:43:11 PDT

Civil discourse doesn’t just happen—at least, not without a little effort.

That’s just one of the many things we learned recently during our interview and Q&A with sociopolitical comedian and 58�� Artist in Residence W. Kamau Bell. Bell, who hosts and produces the CNN television series United Shades of America, is well versed in the art of uncomfortable conversation, and had a great deal of wisdom to share with us and our audience members.

Bell’s United Shades explores a motley selection of communities across America, telling a refreshingly multi-dimensional tale of what it means to be American. In his exploration of diverse geographies, cultures, religions, life experiences, and belief system, Bell exposes both himself and viewers to the under-explored corners of America. Maybe he has always had a knack for breaking down barriers and forming unsuspected bonds, or maybe it’s a result of his travels across the country—but whatever the case may be, Bell somehow manages to traverse diverse conversational landscapes with the ease of a seasoned triathlete.

Although the four of us Hackworth Fellows feel deeply invested in the topics of free speech and civil discourse, we are also well aware of the potential these subjects have to deteriorate into a stale, disembodied conversation with little to no impact on audience members’ thoughts or actions. Needless to say, we were excited to chat with a comedian, and appreciated the way Bell wove a healthy dose of humor into our conversation. Through his clever use of comedy and witty, relatable voice, Bell not only told us about the importance of lighthearted discussion—he demonstrated how it’s done.

At one point, Bell explicitly called out those of us in the room who take ourselves too seriously, and reiterated the power of comedy as a tool for crossing ideological divides. If you can get someone to laugh, he said, you can get them to listen.

He suggested that, in some contexts, it might be more productive to engage in a playful banter than a heated debate. I was taken aback by this approach at first, as it seems the most controversial topics are also the most deserving of our serious attention. But after watching United Shades and listening to Bell explain the reasoning behind his tactics, I’m convinced that a thoughtful dash of comedy might do us all some good when we find ourselves in the realm of disagreement.

If we want to engage in and promote civil discourse without tiring ourselves out or driving others away, it seems we ought to keep an eye out for creative ways to cross divides and form connections. Finding opportunities for humor amidst the pain and chaos of serious discord is certainly a viable way of achieving this goal—and I’d say it’s worth trying to crack a joke the next time we feel tempted to snap, yell, or furrow our brows.

Lessons Learned: How to Germinate Civil Discourse

Thu, 31 May 2018 13:21:35 PDT

As my Hackworth Fellowship draws to a close, I reflect upon my last year and all of the interactions I have had during my undergraduate career. How have I engaged in civil discourse? Have my interactions changed? Do I have the humility to listen? Have I empowered others to speak? After co-hosting a free speech and civil discourse panel with W. Kamau Bell, I realized I haven’t quite reflected on myself and where I stand after all of these blog posts, events, and dinners. Mr. Bell planted four major seeds in my mind that have been germinating the last few days. I want to share them with you to nurture in your mind. I hope that these will help situate you in a place better equipped to handle conversations with diverse opinions and backgrounds.

You have to fail. If you were to take any skill you learned as a child and extrapolate the primary lesson from it, you would learn that failing is key to getting better. You can’t simply walk into a conversation and expect civil discourse to happen. You will be uncomfortable. They will be uncomfortable. You will stumble, trip, and fall and that’s okay. You will learn. Kamau Bell claimed he wasn’t born funny. He learned to be the way that he is from his life experiences. Similarly, we can’t walk into a conversation and learn to talk to all types of people in a civic manner. Your experiences will culminate to better prepare you to handle those types of conversations. Even when you feel experienced at it, stumbling will still happen. And that, too, is okay.

A great example of this can be seen on W. Kamau Bell’s CNN show United Shades of America. He uses comedy to diffuse tension and bring comfort out in others. Most times it works and Kamau and his subject can laugh together. Other times, he gets awkward stares from people that don’t get it or don’t want to engage- and that is fine.
It’s about working a crowd. During our Panel, Mr. Bell said, time and time again, that you can’t get in a room and say, “Okay we’re going to have civil discourse now” and expect it to happen. As a comedian, he has to create a space and work his audience to establish civil discourse. In United Shades of Color, he comes into these spaces with producers, cameramen, lighting specialists, makeup artists, and so on. They manufacture a space where participants are cognizant of the conversations that they are going to have. Making civil discourse happen is not a lazy feat.

Sometimes it may appear effortless but that’s only when things align perfectly. Most times, you have to actively pursue a space and conversation and continuously work at it. You can’t give up. We are plagued with apathy and cynicism. We give up too much, too quickly.
Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. Mr. Bell quoted American humorist and writer, Finley Peter Dunne who said, "... it is the duty of a newspaper to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." The same can be said for comedy, talking to your family at Thanksgiving, and civil discourse. When you are truly comfortable with engaging in civil discourse, make this your goal. We are familiar and comfortable with our circles that share our beliefs. However, we don’t take to the afflicted. We stop ourselves from engaging with the afflicted because we fear that we may have something to lose or that we will become afflicted. What good does that do your community (and society at large) if we don’t take that chance to comfort our neighbors and fellow community members?
Don’t take yourself too seriously. I struggle with this the most. The impediment to civil discourse is hurt feelings. There’s no doubt about it. Someone will say something and it insults you as a person. You feel hurt and you don’t want to talk to them anymore. They make you mad and attack your identity so you get defensive. There’s a degree of legitimacy to that. If someone says something offensive to a point where you can’t handle it then okay. But most conversations don’t get to that point. There’s a level of insult that we can handle if we simply don’t take the words to heart.

In United Shades of America’s very first episode, Kamau Bell interviews the KKK. One of the members tells him that interracial marriage is an abomination condemned by God in the Bible. Kamau Bell is married to a white woman and is, thus, in an interracial marriage. Rather than take offense to that statement and attack his foe or walk away, he uses humor to diffuse the tension and asks where interracial marriage stands on a scale of sin in comparison to murder. The KKK says interracial marriage is worse than the sin of murder. As absurd as the example is, it goes to show that if you don’t take yourself too seriously (and the person that is saying hurtful things that appear to be an affront to your identity) that the world won’t end. You can walk away from a conversation in control of your feelings, not letting someone else get the best of you.